PSYCHONAUT ALICE

Zhen P
3 min readSep 4, 2023

Fascinated with this psychonautic life again!

As soon as the pill consumed Alice, she jumped in and kept going. It wasn’t the rabbit hole she found, it was a deep trance into herself, beyond the thoughts in her crown. She felt as if she slipped and fell and that she slid straight into hell. But it was far from that truth, it was everything she intuitively knew.

Once she flipped and the introspection started, she met some friends off of her own perspective. Her psyche had come out to play. She laughed and giggled till she halted in shock at the evil her own mind could create. She knew she had a choice to make, a side to choose, a spirit to feed. She named them queens and as she started to obey with cunning deception she uncovered their true intentions.

One queen was grand, fluffy, and thick with a blinding fury. The queen had hold of most of Alice’s dormant strings and demanded surrender. She would raise all those anxieties and level the fear to set in. Slowly it would creep and grow till it swallowed Alice whole. The queen had her slaves, and every characteristic of Alice was tamed to her tunes. Seeded by thoughtless reactions which sprouted a habit that wasn’t easy to rule. She saw only herself and acted with no remorse. She looked to destroy not knowing she herself would first burn. She held Alice in the dark, only to create room for light to enter. That was her purpose, but it corrupted her ego.

The other queen was quiet, subtle, and calm. She sang humble tunes and let Alice’s hopes and dreams rise to renew. She sought to build a lovers' nation, with only good intentions. Every time a thought arose she peeled it to set its meaning straight. She laughed and cried and was authentic beyond sight. If she only knew how to balance and stay tuned, she would move this world towards reconstruction. But she was still learning and her tool of physical interaction was split between two masters. She held the attention for the better of Alice’s dream and had to give up to let the balance rearrange. She knew with her soul that life had its own goals. She looked to help expand her vessels' conscious thirst and she wished so clear that the universe gave her the power to hold her peace. So, she let Alice go hoping she would return with an improved cognizance. Forever she held Alice in spirit and sprinkled her with love, knowing she’d be back powerful than ever before.

Dismayed Alice was sliding down as she realised her duality and tried turning around. Of course, it was too late and into wonderland she landed straight. Her mind was her circus and it turned her reality into shows of jokers. With rabbits and rats she learned what to seek, she learned not everything pretty holds value indeed. She found treasures and gold under slimy stones and as soon as she held the riches the stone too turned to gold. She was in awe witnessing the magnificent alchemy. She never knew she could transform a thought into meaningful constant prayer.

She met the mad hatter and fell in love. She finally found her unconditioned and true self and was euphoric as fuck. She held hands and danced till there was enough of an understanding to know what she wanted. She knew this was the beginning of some unraveling miracles. And then she woke to find it was just another quantum jump trip.

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Zhen P

Freewriting on time, space & movement. p.s. leave no trace